Does every waiter have to ask how everything is less than five minutes after they serve you? Do they not eat out themselves? Can they at least watch you to see if your mouth is full BEFORE they ask you?

Look, all you need to do is walk by me once in awhile and if I need something, or “the food sucks”, I will get your attention. Is the food so bad in these places that waitresses have to ask you how everything is? Shouldn’t it just be fine? After all, it is what we expect when we eat out. I don’t go out thinking “hit or miss, I hope this food’s good”. And one more thing. Tell me your name. That’s not reserved for costly restaurants. That way when you disappear, I can ask the next waiter to find you, just in case “it sucks”.

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

When I was a kid, I once heard my mom say to her friend that she shouldn’t lift a heavy item. Your thinking “that doesn’t sound so bad “, but, aha, there’s more. She followed that with a scary suggestion that this woman’s “uterus will fall out!”

Wow! What the hell is that? I don’t think I was more than 10 yrs old but that sure sounded bad to me. What the hell is a uterus? Did I have one of those? I lifted some heavy things. Was I going to lose something through my ass? Next time I saw my friends, I had to ask if any of them knew what the heck a uterus is. Well as it turned out we weren’t so up on the female anatomy as we thought we were. Sure we knew the important parts breast, butt, the female flower….you know all the stuff that mattered to us, but a uterus? And the fact that it might just “fall out”. I remember thinking that I was glad I was a guy cause it didn’t seem like much more than a good bowel movement was coming out of me.

So fast forward to the present. I find myself laughing today when I tell women at work not to lift heavy things because their uterus might fall out. They laugh and say that won’t happen, but I tell them I don’t want to be the one present to witness the event if it does! After all, am I the one that s going to have to have to pick it up, bag it and carry it to the hospital so they can put it back in? Hell I don’t think I have it in me toss it in my car and bring it with us. Its not like a finger that you can throw in a bag of ice and put it on the dashboard. If you witnessed your child’s birth than you know just how messy those things can be! Seriously, does it really “fall out”? I recently heard a story about a guy who pushed so hard during a visit to the john, that his intestine fell out. Really, a friend of mine drove him to the hospital and watched the doctor push it back in. Holy crap man!

So for future reference, don’t let your woman pick up heavy items.  Unless you have a pooper scooper or something else handy to pick up that uterus when it falls out you better carry those grocery bags from now on!

Just one man’s opinion!

The Regular Guy

The following is a copy of an article written by my sister and posted on http://www.deeper meditation.net. I hope this will help you deal with the stress we incur everyday.

How often do you exclaim, “I’m so stressed out!”? Stress is a commonality that is all too familiar but often overlooked as a serious symptom of disease. The reality is that stress is the #1 risk factor for disease. With studies showing that stress leads to obesity, heart disease, depression, anxiety, hypothyroidism, immune deficiency, etc., why is it that we are still so stressed out?

I believe it is that we are not taught as children how to handle stress properly. We learn to mimic our parents’ behavior, which was not always a healthy choice! Instead of realizing that stress is something that happens inside a person, we see it as an attack against our homeostasis and defend it at all costs. Stress typically arises because of our beliefs about how things ‘should be’ and not necessarily the situation at hand, and often it is self-inflicted.

In my 16 years experience as a Massage Therapist, I have found that most of my clients come to me because they are internalizing their stress. Instead of letting it out, they hold it in and that energy transmutes into a physical pain or disease. Massage is a great way to release it from the body because the pressure receptors in the skin convey a message back to the brain to release the energy and send out endorphins to relieve the pain.

However, we should not always rely on someone else to relieve our stress. If we never learn how to adequately handle stress so that it doesn’t get trapped in our bodies, stress will never go away. It just gets transmuted into something more difficult to deal with that we find no way of escaping, such as a debilitating disease.

If stress is self-inflicted, how do we stop the cycle? First answer these questions:

1. Do you create deadlines for yourself, like having company over so the house must be clean by a certain time?

2. Do you worry about what people will think before you act or speak?

3. Do you volunteer for things even though you really don’t have the time?

4. Do you do things even though the little voice inside you is saying, “No, don’t do it!”

5. Do you allow others to control your time because you are too ‘nice’? For example, getting trapped in conversation you really don’t have time for.

6. Do you get enough rest, eat right and exercise as you should?

If you answered “Yes” to any of the first five questions, consider this: “Who puts you first?”

The primary way to adequately handle stress is to begin to make time for YOU. Realize that without your health there will be none of ‘you’ to go around. Stop taking on extra projects or putting pressure on yourself. You will be AMAZED how the universe will open up opportunities for you to take care of yourself when you make the decision to do so.

Helpful techniques for handling stress and getting the energy OUT of your body

1. Talk it out with someone or scream at the top of your lungs. That feels REALLY good! (Just don’t scream at your children!)

2. Crying is a great vehicle for relieving stress. It doesn’t mean you are weak!

3. Deep Breathing works by carrying oxygen to the cells so they can detoxify.

4. Exercise/Stretching is necessary to release the tension and pain in the muscles.

5. Meditation is a great way to clear and relax the mind. It just takes some practice.

6. Visualizations are a handy tool for handling stress. They can range from comedic skits about the situation to visions of paradise on a tropical island. Either way, they are great at tricking the mind into believing whatever you want.

7. Hot water baths are awesome for loosening muscles and granting “Me-Time”.

8. Realizing your limitations is a tough one, but a little humility goes a long way.

9. And, of course, plain old Laughter is and always will be the best medicine for handling stress!

Finally, I have found the use of pure essential oil aromatherapy to be a very effective means of handling stress. These oils work on the body and mind at the same time and can be used for numerous maladies related to stress. These include depression, anxiety, impatience, IBS, allergies, headaches, physical pain, nausea, fatigue, insomnia, low immune system and the list goes on.Essential oils work so well because the sense of smell connects with memory centers in the brain, wherein the memory evokes a physical response. Over the past decade I have developed a line of scents to balance the body based on ancient Chinese and Ayurvedic principles. My blends work to balance the mood by affecting the elements in the body. For example, if you have too much “Fire” you will need a water, earth or wood scent to calm you down. If you are a thinker, you are too “Metal” and will need a fire, water or wood scent to open your heart. Your scent needs will vary daily as your mood changes. I find it helpful to keep your favorite scents on hand so you will always be balanced.

The ulterior benefit to using these blends is that they will also boost your immune system! The scent you wear may also work on those close to you so they will also be balanced. Next time you’re stressed, mist some “Happy” in the air and watch what happens!

Whatever you choose to do, the thing to remember is to find balance. Too much of one thing really is too much. Balance is the key to a stress-less life!

Jakki Wienecke is a Stress & Pain Management Specialist, Author of the self-help book, Follow the Signs, owner of the Divine Creations Aromatherapy line of products to heal and balance the body and founder of PRISM Wellness. She has spent the last 16 years working to educate the public about the benefits of natural therapies such as massage therapy, acupuncture, nutrition, chiropractic, aromatherapy, yoga and natural skin care. From dance/Pilates instructor to her work as a Massage Therapist to her guidebook for a purposeful life, she has always worked to bring joy to others. Information about her workshops and products can be found at www.DC-Aroma.com. 410-399-9737

Some one once said” Life is what happens while your busy planning for it.” Maybe it wasn’t exactly that but close enough.

So how is it that we get so involved in planning our lives that we miss most of it as it jettisons right by us. I have been trying to change the way I live my life for years, and it’s a slow process at best, trying to undo the mess that I have created.

Last year, I went to see “Eat, Pray, Love ” and I walked away from the film with a reinforcement of what I always believed. You can not change your life unless you change where you live your life. Nothing really changes if your environment doesn’t

The main character in the movie came to a crossroad when she realized that she wasn’t living a life by choice but one that she couldn’t relate to because she became lost in all the things that life threw at her on a daily basis. She didn’t know who she was and what truly made her happy, so she embarked on a mission to find her true self.

If you think about it we build our lives in steps which seems to end in retirement. We are born, we grow, we learn, we work, we marry, we have kids, we buy a house, we create massive expenses and responsibilities, and we hope for a comfortable retirement. We are led to believe that this is a way to a happy life. We don’t live life, we work it. Sure we all get little bits and pieces of it but do we ever really live the life we would if we could?

I have spent my life working just to enjoy a few off weeks a year to do things that make me happy while all the time wishing I could work less and live more. I am not talking about traveling the world but just taking the time to “smell the roses”.  I, like most men, are driven to make money with the hope that at some point I can enjoy the rewards of my lifelong efforts. But unless you happen to make a killing very quickly, you will find that basically you work your whole life to live, and not much more.

Maybe we are all just missing life the way it was intended to be. “SIMPLE.” We have all become products of our environment. So caught up in our work that it becomes our life. Think about how upside down we have made our lives. We spend most of our day working and the rest sleeping. When we aren’t sleeping we are on our phones or computers probably either working or wasting time.  I have been told by my parents that some of the best times of their life were before all this technology set in. It seems that living before the 1960′s was great. Could it be because life was much simpler and less cluttered with technology. People actually had conversations in their living rooms with neighbors on Saturday nights. It was called “having company”. Today, we don’t even want to talk to each other so we just text.

If you are young and reading this here’s some advice. Start early and save as much money as possible by avoiding what everyone else is doing with theirs, because later in life you will need it more than earlier. Travel as soon as possible and see how others live in difference to where you were raised. Take a job or jobs that don’t tie you down ( this is the difficult one) but allow you to leave if necessary and start up somewhere else. Remember, its not how much you earn its how much you spend that makes life difficult, and with this in mind, stay debt free. And last, you will  learn later in life that it is shorter than you think so be prepared to say yes now to all the things you truly want to do and not make excuses as to why you can’t. Don’t let your “career” become who you are. Keep your life “simple” because at some point you will look back on it and wonder how it got so complicated and stressful and not know how to fix it. It becomes like the hamster on a wheel. Repetition over and over, the same everyday.

Life as we know it happens because we allow it to. Someday, hopefully sooner than later, I’ll get this life right!

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

While the Regular Guy provides a forum for men to vent and discuss commonalities,  I say gals should also snatch the opportunity to spew forth our feminine perspective! I may not be as witty as Carrie Bradshaw, but I am in the newspaper business and I’ve always had a thing for writing, so my goal is to inspire some discussion here. Think of it as group therapy for the regular gal (and guy)… those of us who constantly ponder love, career, family, health and fitness, beauty, creative expression and how to juggle all at one time and still remain at the top of our game. Not unlike the Regular Guy who might obsess over sex, sports and sitcoms, the Regular Gal is no stranger to obsessions. ”She Says” will expose that all of these topics transcend gender. Depending on who starts the discussion, some are just a little more sugar-coated than others.

Join the forum. Join in the freedom of expression. Join the fun.

Being a kid, I always looked forward to snow days off from school. When my friends and I heard that snow was coming we couldn’t help but plan whose house we would wind up at to build a fort and have a war with neighboring kids.

There is something really wonderful about being snowbound in your home as an adult. Time stands still.

When everyone in town is snowbound, nobody gets the edge on anyone because we are all in the same boat. There are no worries about lost business to another company or making an interview for a job. There is no getting the kids ready for school while you text on your Blackberry to a client. Time stands still.

You sleep in and when you awake you hurry to the window to see just how much snow your going to have to shovel to get that car out of the driveway. Your not worried so you go back to bed and catch up on sleep you wouldn’t normally get. If your real lucky, your laying next to someone who is feeling a little frisky. Hell you have all day. Time stands still.

You finally get your butt out of bed and you eat a really big breakfast because your going to need those calories for all that shoveling. You dress like its 20 below outside and your armed with shovels, salt and ice scrappers. All this doesn’t seem so bad because you have all day and nowhere to be, just like everyone else.Time stands still.

As you shovel that snow you begin to remember when you were younger and your dad made you go outside to clear a path so he could go to the store for the milk and bread he forgot to get in preparation of the great storm. As he slides and stumbles to his car, you can hear him mumble under his breathe how your mom is a pain in the ass and won’t stoop reminding him how she “told him so”, about the milk and bread!  As the cold air brings you back to reality, you look around and marvel at how breathtaking the snow and ice on the trees look. What a great day to be alive and you remember that you have all day to enjoy it.

Yes, when a snowstorm hits your town, its truly a magical moment. It brings you back to a simpler time in life when you had nothing but time..no worries, no responsibilities, no cares in the world, just time. Time that was so endless because you never knew just how fast it would pass in your lifetime. For me, being snowbound stops time just long enough for me to remember what it was like, when I had nothing but time, to enjoy my life.

A friend of mine sent me this one day and I saved it to read over and over again when I get lost in thought of where my life is leading to. It grounds me some and makes me remember what is important in my life and what I should be doing to enjoy it!!

Thanks Vic!

From: Vic
Sent: Wednesday, June 10, 2009 8:09 AM
To: robert
Subject: Your Greatest Risk

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Your Greatest Risk
by Alexander Green

Dear Reader,

Ask someone what he or she wants out of life and you’re likely to hear a familiar litany: a great job, a loving family, a nice home, a comfortable retirement and so on.

But what are you living for? Of all the things you might pursue in life, which is the most valuable?

“Most people have trouble naming this goal,” writes William B. Irvine, Professor of Philosophy at Wright State University. “They know what they want minute by minute or even decade by decade during their life, but they have never paused to consider their grand goal in living. It is perhaps understandable that they haven’t. Our culture doesn’t encourage people to think about such things; indeed, it provides them with an endless stream of distractions so they won’t ever have to. But a grand goal in living is the first component of a philosophy of life. This means that if you lack a grand goal in living, you lack a coherent philosophy of life.”

There was a time when great thinkers sought to answer these questions. But no longer.

Modern philosophy has evolved into a specialized academic discipline that pursues arcane questions of no real interest to the general public. When was the last time you read or heard anything from a living philosopher?

Yet the ancient Greek and Romans obsessed over these questions. They strove to learn what was most important and how to achieve it. In sum, they wanted to discover how best to live.

Their answers evolved into stoicism, a philosophy that is not widely understood today.

The word stoic is used to describe someone unmoved by joy or grief, someone without passion. Yet that is not the stoic philosophy.

Stoicism is about pursuing a life that is both meaningful and fulfilling. It’s about healing the inevitable suffering in life – and achieving tranquility.

How is this done? Ancient stoic philosophers advised:

* Contemplating the transitory nature of the world around you

* Living in the present without fear of the future

* Banishing negative emotions

* Living according to your own nature

* Pursuing virtue

* Seeking courage and wisdom

* Living simply and frugally

* Mastering desire, to the extent that it is possible to do so

Sounds simple enough. But that’s deceptive, really. These tenets require work.

Living in the present without fear of the future, for instance, may seem impossible when we consider all the sad and tragic news that surrounds us.

Yet the stoic philosopher Epictetus reminds us that most worldly events are beyond our control. What disturbs our minds then is not the events themselves but merely our judgments about them.

And we can change these.

After all, there is little you can do to stop nuclear proliferation, global warming, the specter of terrorism, or The Great Recession. Yes, you can speak your mind, cast your vote, organize.

But worry? That solves nothing.

Likewise, the stoic advice to live simply and frugally could have saved millions of Americans who overreached a ton of heartache in recent years.

Limiting your material desires and craving for luxury enables you to save and invest more of your after-tax income. Paradoxically, the shortest route to financial freedom is to fight the acquisitive instinct and the desire to appear wealthy.

Too many imagine that if they just earn enough they can finally fulfill – and ultimately eliminate – their desires.

Yet nothing ever does. New desires spring up to take the place of old ones.

Recognize this and at least you can make honest choices in your life.

This point was made more than two thousand years ago in a well-known dialogue between Alexander the Great and the Greek philosopher
Diogenes:

Alexander: Diogenes, you are a man of great repute. Yet you spend your days untroubled, unperturbed, indulging in conversation and the pleasures of life.

Diogenes: Tell me what is so much better about the life of Alexander the Great?

Alexander: I am a conqueror of nations!

Diogenes: So, conqueror of nations, what are you going to do next?

Alexander: I will conquer Greece!

Diogenes: Yes… then what?

Alexander: I will conquer Asia Minor!

Diogenes: Alright… then what?

Alexander: I will conquer the rest of the world!

Diogenes: And then?

Alexander: Then… I plan to relax and enjoy life.

Diogenes: So why not relax and enjoy it now?

He must have made an impression. The great conqueror once remarked, “Were I not Alexander, I would be Diogenes.”

Diogenes lived according to his own nature, caring little for reputation, luxury or material possessions. Few would subscribe to his brand of extreme asceticism. But at least he had philosophy of life – and lived it.

Most of us never take the time to consider our grand goal. Instead, we choose society’s default position: the pursuit of affluence, social status and pleasure.

The problem with doing what everyone else is doing, however, is that you may mislive.

Instead of pursuing and enjoying what matters most, you could wake up one day to find that confusion and distraction have caused you to squander your one precious life.

And who really wants to take that risk?

Carpe Diem,

Alex

We live in an over sensitive society. Peoples feelings get hurt by some of the silliest things. We have all heard the term “politically correct”, have we not.  It is so important that we do not offend our neighbor.

Tony Kornheiser, an ESPN show host, was suspended for two weeks, because he commented during his show, on the clothing that a co- worker, Hannah Storm, wore to a film premiere. The comment read like this: “Kornheiser described an outfit Storm was wearing at ESPN last week as “horrifying,” saying her shirt was too tight and looked “like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body.”(AP.).

I have to question why this is so bad. It isn’t like he said she looked like a two bit whore in that outfit. Today a comment like his is enough to get you suspended! You are not allowed to give your opinion on how someone is dressed. Other people get paid to comment on public figures like Hannah Storm’s attire, everyday. Just check out People magazine or the  Star. My question is this. If Kornheiser said this about his on air partner, Michael Wilbon, would he still be facing a suspension? I sincerely doubt it. Is it that we have to treat women differently than men? Is it that women are more sensitive than men? Did he really say something that bad, that he deserved to forfeit his pay and face the embarrassment of having to apologize for his comment.? Okay maybe he offended her, but it was just his opinion. It goes with freedom of speech.

My thought is that he works for the same company as she, and ESPN felt a need to set an example because everyone is so damn scared of being sued for sexual harassment. There is no way that this happens, had he commented on a fellow male co worker’s attire.

Wake up people and stop this craziness. There are far more serious things to suspend someone for. Punishing this man for stating how he felt a female co-workers  attire looked is over the top and ridiculous. The headline should have read ” Stuffed Sausage Storms in and Kiboshes Kornheiser!” At least I would have found that funny….

Just One Man’s Opinion..

The Regular Guy

I am not so sure as to exactly why Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone, but I am quite sure, that he didn’t think people would be wearing them like an article of clothing.

I remember when my dad purchased and placed in use our “family” answering machine. Everyone practically stood around staring at it waiting for the phone to ring so we could see how it worked. As kids we would rush home to “check the machine” for messages that we would have from missed calls. It was also great for dinner time when believe it or not everyone had to be at the table and no one was allowed to answer a ringing phone. Now my dad, who set the rules back then, is probably the first one to jump from the table to answer a phone call. Go figure!

Out with the old and in with the new. From tape machines to digital to voice mail, email  and now texting, we have become a nation too much in touch. There are phones everywhere you look. We even have laws now that are in place to protect us because people have to be told when too much phone use is enough. In movie theatre’s we have short skits to remind us how rude it is to hear phones ringing and someones conversation while we are trying to watch a movie.  But even with that, we found a way around ringing phones, we developed texting. We just have so much to talk about!!!

I used to find it funny how some people had phones installed in the bathrooms of the home, so they wouldn’t miss answering the phone even when nature called. Now, there are some who don’t have wired phones at all, in their homes. Just a cell phone.  One phone does it all.

So how did we become a nation of people who can not be out of reach no matter where they are? What has become so important that people wear a blue tooth device like its an accessory? I remember doctors wearing beepers because they could stay in touch in case of an emergency. Somehow that made sense to me, but the blue tooth on a real estate agent in a funeral home, I just don’t get it.

I figure I am just an old fashioned guy, trying to hold on to the simpler things in life and somehow gadgets like these just keep getting in my way. Cell phones, like most technology, were supposed to make our lives simpler, less complicated and give us more quality time to spend doing the things we enjoy. Like with most technology, that just doesn’t happen. We become more dependant on these gadgets and our work days no longer end at eight hours. In the past, at ten o’clock at night, no one would call you. It was just unheard of unless it was an emergency. Then we got voicemail so they could call and leave a message. Now we have email and texting so phones don’t have to ring ( although you still might hear” you’ve got mail” during the episode of House your watching ) anymore and you can still get your message to someone. And that’s really not the bad part. The bad part is that we answer the emails and texts late at night as if it is a matter of life and death.  So in reality we are never out of touch. No one can wait until the next business day anymore to deal with business, because it is now being done at times when we used to relax and unwind after a long days work. Isn’t life just grand.

I use a cell phone and I can see the good in having one. I especially think its great when your on the road and break down in your car. Couple a cell with AAA and you have a lifesaving tool at hand. I also know when enough is enough and I can shut my phone off and not worry that someone is trying to call. I like to put an end to the day and not answering a call is one way I do it. I still fight the good fight in hopes that I can have my “simpler life”,  so if I don’t answer my phone, please leave a message at the beep……..

The Regular Guy

Running a business today is much harder than it was 20 years ago. Although I know more now than I did then, and experience saves me a lot of time and money, there are just too many changes that have taken place since I began my venture.

Probably the biggest difference that stands out most today is the lack of a labor pool, especially that of the young man. Times today have created a void for us in finding a young male between 16-21 who wants to work and learn a trade for his future. Too many young boys and teens grow up in a home where they need absolutely nothing. They are given things now that you and I didn’t have until we worked and earned the money to buy them. For instance, our first cars. I paid $700 for my first car in 1978, a 1969 Chevelle Malibu, with 49,000 miles. I thought I hit the jackpot when I found that car.  Today, if you told your son he would have to drive a car that cost less than $1000.00 he would laugh at you. Today, as he would have it, he would be driving a leased Honda or Nissan worth some $25,000.00.

The point is, that teenage boys do not have the need nor the sense of urgency to go out and work as we did when we were the same age. Teenage boys today ride $300 bicycles, wear $100 sneakers and listen to music on their $400 I-Touch phones. The only way a teenage boy gets these things is from his parents. So with all the toys you already possess, what gives you the reason to work?

I hear a lot of people complain that the Mexicans have stolen away all our jobs. I hear that the Indians and the Asians are taking over all the local businesses. I hear all this but what I see is that there aren’t any young American males even applying for these so called stolen jobs. Americans have become lazy. Most Americans today think everything is owed to them. That’s why no one wants that landscaping job, that dishwasher job or that line cook job. No young male wants to paint a home, wash a car or dig a hole. Oh yeah, he will come in for a job and demand a salary that was once reserved for a seasoned, experienced worker even without the training or knowledge of the work he will need to perform.

I have been running our business since I was 23 years old. Okay, I am one of the lucky ones in so much that my dad put up the money to open the business. But I am also the one who sacrificed my twenties and thirties to build this successful business. I have tried in vein for the last 15 years to find someone to take over this business. I have looked for a young man with the desire and passion I had at 23 years old to teach my trade to. I always believed that I would someday pass the torch to the next generation baker to carry on my work. That dream for me died a slow death. I no longer believe in the young American male with a passion for anything. If he is out there, he is a hidden gem among a bevy of stones.

It is sad to think that my generation has given so much to their children that they took away the thing that made us who we are. Was it that we felt we needed to give our kids more than we had growing up? How do you now tell your kid he has to get a job for minimum wage and earn the money for that phone? I think parents are more concerned with pacifying their kids than parenting them. It is rare today to see a parent reprimand their child, tell them “no” and mean it. “No” today means “not now but in five minutes or so.”  No used to mean no, and then it was followed by a back hand if you didn’t listen.

What used to be taught to kids was if you wanted something you had to work for it. Nothing was supposed to come easy to us. That was the American way. You worked hard, earned what you got and no one could take that away from you. Today, everything is to easy to attain.

Where have all the young men gone? They are home playing video games……..

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy